Lord of the Black Isle by Elaine Coffman

Author:Elaine Coffman
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Sourcebooks, Inc.
Published: 2012-04-11T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 11

Life may change, but it may fly not;

Hope may vanish, but can die not;

Truth be veiled, but still it burneth;

Love repulsed,—but it returneth.

—Hellas (1821)

Percy Bysshe Shelley (1792–1822)

English poet

His feelings were like raw edges, and his hurt was deep and painful. He knew it wasn’t fair to keep her here and he wished he could send her away, but he cared too much for her to let her go. And it went against his code of honor. He did not know why it bothered him that she had known a man before him or that she loved Mackinnon, but it did. In time, he would deal with it and it would be a thing of the past, like a wound that heals, but now it was new, raw, and festered.

He did not want to deal with it, and he knew her well enough to know she would want to talk about it in that calm, persistent, knowing manner of hers. But if they talked about it with him feeling as he did inside now, she would be repulsed and turn away. He needed time to come to peace with what she revealed and not take it out on her. So, he did the only thing left that he could do. He began to avoid her. And that made him moody, which caused him to spend too much time in his study thinking and mulling things over with a dram o’ uisge beatha, and then another and another.

Torn over the direction of things between them, he began to avoid dealing with other things as well, preferring instead to hunt with his cousins, and staying up late laughing and drinking in the great hall. Whenever Elisabeth or Ailis tried to talk to him, he threatened to have his knights haul them to their rooms and stand guard by the door.

Once Elisabeth cornered him and said, “Lord Kinloss! You listen to me. It is far better to talk about what bothers you than it is to keep it bottled up inside. Why are you behaving this way?”

He wanted to tell her, but he couldn’t seem to bring himself to that point. He knew that because he tried it more than once and ended up drunk. Even now, watching her from where he stood kept him twisted in knots. She was so beautiful with her glorious hair gathered about her face like a dark thundercloud that he wanted to drag her into his arms and kiss the memory of Mackinnon away, but he warned her instead. “One more word and I will confine ye to yer room.”

“So confine me, but you are not behaving like the Earl of Kinloss, the chief of your clan. I know you are angry and hurt, but this isn’t the way to…”

“Silence!” He slammed his hand down on the desk and called for the two guards at the door. “Escort her to the hospital and tell her to use her abounding determination to change things there.”

Ailis came to speak with him, but before she could utter one word, he threatened her.

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